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ROFLMAO

-Sara-

Today was the speech and prize giving day. I went back to my old school - Katong Convent. From the minute i stepped foot into that school the first day in sec one; full of fear of what is ahead, until now ; full of high expectations and joy of that school, i feel that i belonged there.

The fear that apprehended me that time was much lesser than that when i am in a new surrounding. It felt like home, just in a different enviroment. The beautiful greenery and spaciousness of the place made it easy to relax and enjoy yourself. Highly unlike the superficial surrounding of CJC. Walls all over, not a thing to make you relax. When you do PE you do in around a track, and all you see is the red ahead. Red, like death, all you see is the end of life, not the beginning of it. In KC we ran around the surrounding area, cars move pass, people always with a place to go, and along the highway. The place(KC) was so full of fresh air, plants, and love.

CJC, is not that. You enter the school and you see a ceiling, where is the space? Then you go to the classes, and on your way all you see is the green "basketball" court. Ya, fake greens. How homely (sarcastic). I feel like i am trapped. Feel that i am in a prison. Yes, CJC is pratically a prison.

I shall quote what the asst. director of strategic dunnoe what frm MOE Mrs Lee said today, a leader has to have the passion. You do not need to be smart or unique, you just need to love what you are doing, and have the heart.

I carried a smile on my face where every i went the minute i stepped foot in KC today. Even when i attempted to hold a straight face i found it hard. I smile came back. Haa, weird right? Even through the boring speeches and talks i was amused by that fact. That some place other than that that i am sitting in right now, can be called home.

Mrs leong still remembered us~! She said that we must go back and help out when we are free or if there are any productions. I will be more than happy to oblige that. The thing is that she never taught me any classes. Never. She went on the perth trip with us and then we helped during EMDD and did FWF, other than that , there was nothing else connecting us to her. I guess our group were undefeatable when we stuck together as a team. Yup, that is why it is so speacial.

Melissa, that validictorian(sp?) for 2003 said, : " Treasure the friends that you make in Secondary school because they may be the closest friends you have. In JC, you do not have any time to make friends." I agree, and i am happy.

Claire Matthews got awarded the Mary Bong literary award. Ms Devi said one very important speech when she was pratically reading Claire biography. The point she made was that Clarie wrote with her heart. Something i am not able to tap into these days. My mind shuts down when i try too. But now, i guess, now, i understand again what makes KC so special. If i lose my ability to talk  properly ( like i am slowly losing right now,  ( can't string a proper sentence together you see.) can speak property) than I am not a KC student and they have not taught me well enough.

In everything we do, we need to have the courage to do it with our heart. Do it with faith, don’t care about how the others think of you, and care only that you exist and those you care about exist, the rest are just looming black figures that have eyes to see who you are on the outside but never good enough and eyesight to see who you REALLY are.

To succeed, you need to find yourself and do what you can. Fix what you can’t and you may actually find a way to get something else done instead.

Tonight, a math tuition teacher is coming over, I am so tired, emotionally cos of results and physically cos of running up and down.

My mother say that I she knows this and that and she knows me well. HA! She has barely begun to scratch the surface of who I really am. She may make assumptions, but none that she can fully understand.

O well, she can go one deceiving herself, as long as I am certain I know where I stand, I am okay.

Quote: What is past, is past.

Like, DUH! Of course it is. But it does not mean it is dead.

-Sara-

Music filled the hall like life
Yet people move past it all
The leaves fell to the ground - death
And robots walked on and never to fall

Black figures flies pass the window
No one knows clearly how they look
And no one will know unless
They fly away with them

Wishes die.
People fall.
Red flow through the land
Just like in veins

The past remains
The present move pass
The future is stagnant
And I want to sleep

Too many emotions trapped within
I want to pour it out and cry
But till this day I carry it inside
I take a step, towards the sky
And fly with those figures

Until,
The end comes now.

-Sara-

Candice and i were singing songs last night through the phone, and talking about how comfortable you would feel talking or being such good friends with the people in our classes. And we bth agree, we dont want to let anyone be close, a friend is ok, but i guess you will stop them from being any closer as friends.

While we were singing, she played her o town cd which had this following song, i love it, so nice.

The Painter - O Town


If I were a painter, mixing my colors
How could I ever find, the blue of your eyes?
The canvas could never, capture the light of your smile
Of your smile

And girl, if I were a sculptor, working in marble
I couldn't hope, to copy your perfect face
The curve of your body, the feel of your skin
My hands could never, ever trace

(chorus)
So I'll try and find a melody as beautiful as you
Find the words to say your eyes are bluer than blue
Fill my voice with the emotion I'm feeling for you
And now, when the beat is so strong
I'll give my heart in a song

Oh girl,
If I were an actor, I could be someone
Someone who'd always know, the right things to say
But as soon as I'd see you, I'd forget all my lines
And you'd never know, what I feel inside

(CHORUS)

There's no other way (no other way)
That I know to say (I know to say)
Baby, how much I love you
And if you'll only give me a chance
Oh girl

(CHORUS 2x)

I'll give my heart in a song

You know I'm not a painter, actor, baby
It don't matter

I'll give my heart in a song

Oh, you're so beautiful

Give you my heart in a song
I'll do, I'll do what I do
You know why, why?
Your eyes are bluer than blue
Uh huh, yeah,
I said I'll do what I do
I'll do, I'll do what I do
You know why, why?
Your eyes are bluer than blue
Uh huh, yeah,
I said I'll do what I do
 
---
 
nice right?
 
-Sara-
 

My take on the phillipino hostage release.

It was the right thing to do. It was the human thing to do.

What is this war about? People see this release as a weakness, i don't. I think this is its strenght. This is the best thing to do. The correct thing to do. Why are these people battling in the first place? Cos they want freedom? Cos they want to win? Or cost they are fighting for the better of man kind? I think if it was the latter one, then this would be the correct decision.
If the Phillipines did not meet the demands, another human soul would have be lost to a war that is now meaningless just the on going need to win. It is not a weakness. Think about it, you have this team who rather no result to violence, and another who rather let a person die to prove a point. And what point is that may i ask? That you are stronger? Each time they do that, they become weaker. They will kill one after another, and people would start to hate the goverment because of the way they let things go. No, what phillipines did made it a warm and heart felt way of fighting a war, not a cold ruthless war.
To sacrifice a person to win, and one person after another just to win, would result in losers.
They will kill, and you will stay strong. why not back down and let bth sides be happy? That is peace. That is what you should be fighting for, no harm was done in this truce right? I mean, not a single harm was done, in fact, only good was done.
If you do can make this small step to create peace. then do it.
Resisting would mean war. That is why they war is going on and on and on non stop. One person HAS to back down to win. If they don't then you should. YOU should. If they say : " i will not back down, i am fighting for peace! They should be backing down." and you on this side say. " I will not back down, what we are doing is for the greater good of man kind! They are the one in a wrong"
Now, what do you have? you get 2 bulls banging heads at one another. Uh-huh, not good.

This is my take on the issue.

on today. Drama was nice. But i felt like i was having PE. running up and down the stairs. Dun ask why.  Suppose to copy smth. And they have decided to cast the cast and the crew members.
My choices are as follow:
1) STAGE MANAGER (I WANT IT!!!! I WANT THAT POSITION!! COME ON!)
2) Props. ( I LOVE DOING PrOPS TOO, heehee)

Aiyo, bth i like. I also like to be a director, but i think it would consume alot of time, and if anything were to go wrong it would be my fault. So we shall wait it out and see. Lalalala.... anyway, gtg now.  Oh and today was the last day the J2s were suppose to go for CCA. So sad. o well...ciao

To candice : Get off the phone now and talk to me!!!!!

=P

-ra-

yoyo!! looong time no chat.. i mean, update. Anyways, since i have been lacking the mood ( and rightfully so cos i will be getting my results on sat and i have not told my mum my marks yet) i decided to update just for the hack-of-it.    Plan on satuday...
1) go to CJC 
2) collect results
3)mother cry
4) get scolding and being told how dissapointing i am
5) cry
6) feel dissapointed
7) eat lunch or go home
8) get away from home and rush to KC for speech and prize presentation day.
9) drag it for as long as i can
10) see all the teachers and smile and be happy
11) drag longer
12) go home and be depressed
13) when dad comes home on sunday, all would be on replay mode.
14) jump off a bridge before this becomes water under the bridge.

 
   Why? cos it is no point going through all the pain when it will not mean anything next time.   And i am bored. Nothing much to update one. Candice is having a great time with her class. That is good.

My class is getting better and better each day with some exceptional comical bitching here and there. And ya. Thats bout it.

I miss art. I miss drawing. I miss the KC spirit. I miss everything.   Today in the church just now  when they were singing 'Shine Jesus Shine' song, i was so happy!!! Cos it reminded me of the spirit and liveliness of KC when we sang that song. Smiles on our faces, grinning like mad and like moving to the beat. Sorta bouncing. HAha, but when i heard them sing tonight, it was okay, i mean ppl were singing, but there was no or very very little life, you dun want to bounce you dun want to smile. It lacks the X factor. The enjoying the song and appreciating it at the same time. O well, the contrast btwn 2 diff worlds. anyways, going now. Ciao~   P.s: my class is more nuts about Dean Cain than i am man. Whole day say superman this and that. And dean cain this and that. Even when i dun even think about dean in sch or at home nowadays. haha. I noe they purposely tease, but seriously, they are nuuuuuuuuuuuuts~~~   -dC-

Hi, i am quite blur as to the number of days it has been since i had put up a proper post. (the one bout the quiz is not counted)

I have no idea who i am saying hi to, but yea, hi all the same. Anyways, my exams have been one extra nail in my coffin with each paper i have recieved. I passed GP, and i am happy. Also passed Lit paper 8, and i am happy and glad and all of that, but i am very very dissapointed with my math results. WTF happened to me!? Seriously, i am getting a feel of dejavu, the first test i got for math in sec one i got like 5 of 20? now i am getting 12 of 100. That is shit! really bad.

I do not need my mother to lecture me, i am too ashame to face them. When they do smth nice for me now, i feel so guilty. But, guilt gets you no where. Shall try to psycho myself into realising that feeling down and out is nothing, it creates losers. Losers are different from winners because the winners never look down on themselves. This just a mid year. I will go and study harder for my promos. Afterall, even if my mum finds out that i failed that badly what is she going to do? threatening being put behind bars for the murder of her daughter? nah. the only reason for me to want to jump of the building is of dissapointment. I expected more out of myself. (yes, eventhough i barely studied for it. Okay.... i did not study for it.)

Yesterday there was a drama meeting. It lasted until 7. my dad waited for me outside sch in the car for an hour , he was pissed. Who could blame him dude. Alot was done during the drama meeting and i learnt alot. But it reminded me alot, i was linking everything in my head. What i am learning now + what i had learnt last time = even better understanding.

That is great. I love theare art. I love installation art too. And writing. And drawing. And music. And sketching. And painting. Okay, so i love art, no big deal.

Here is a poem to reflect my current feeling, have not written in a long time. This shall mark the return of my brain again. haha.. here goes nth..

Light To End Dark

Cold feet

Shivering spirits

Wondering hopes

Dying dreams


Light is starting

Darkness is fading

Blood growing warm

Hands starts moving



The trip is done

Here I stay

Long since i left

Flame starting to grow



Now I've finally got a hold,

My life is only mine.

Light will mark the end

Darkness shall fill the nights



No more undiffentiated day and night.

No more cold feet trying to fight.

Until death comes to claim, I will remain.

Steadfast till the light fades again.



Shall i forget,

Will that day come?

An answer is spoken



Yes.



But light will always beat the dark.



No more cold feet

No more endless nights

No more dying dreams

No more buried hopes.



The dry wind blew,

Now filled with moist.

Silver beads surface,

And i wipe them away.



No more tears as well...


Darkness' partner Death will find

But till that time, it still is mine.

end P.s: the still is mine part refers to my life. That it is still mine.

That's the end. You can slowly go and figure it out. Hahaha, have fun. Remember, reeeaaaaad inbetween the lines. I can't write poems as well as Tawn, Marlz, MoRi3 and the rest. But i am trying.

-SaRa- P.s: My Quiz Is In My Previous Post (look below.)

Take my quizzy, just click below.... you cant see it cos it is in white, sorry bt it, but it is there, just right below these words..
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

CJC celebrated youth day today. It is 4 days late, but the performance they had held was brillant. I especially love the part with Mr Issac Lim playing songs. They were great. The first song was Country Road, then he played Stand by me and then if we hold on tegether. What a nice combination. But a really sad one, all in one shot.

I remember when we would sing on the karaokae last time, sit down as a group and sang different songs. We would also sing Stand by me while walking, remember them? Me and yuying will action bass beat, then you all will sing, but we always ended up in laughter. Then there is the last song, If we hold on together. I cried, i actually did, but no one saw (thankfully). My eyes were wet and a solitary tear slid down. I wiped it away as fast as i could, but i just remembered all those times. I mean not with just the gong family but with everyone. KC was full of life, full of memories -good and bad, full of hope and full of love. That was what made me cry, all those times, all those times i miss o so dearly. Somehow, it made me feel so happy to hear these songs, it seemed like a blessing to hear them all at one shot. I guess it made me remember the past, and i loved what i saw and felt.

After the celebration, i went to Quest to wash my hair. However i ended up trimming it as well. Then i headed to Mavis to ask ppl to do the survey, but there were too many kids, not many teachers and teens, so i guess i would have to go back there tml. I left the Survey forms with Anita, she said she would help me ask Mr Ng and Miss Ng to fill out the survey. I would probably go there after our flag collection in the afternoon which is after our Chinese LC. One after another. I also managed to buy the Spider-man2 OST, have not listened to it yet so i cant comment on it.

I have the sudden urge to watch 10 things i hate about it, shall please myself by watching it then.... but first, i got to bathe... ciao~

-Sara-

Sch was boring and tiring. That is all i have to say about it.

I am in a really down mood, or maybe you may think it is in a trance, a refusal to come back into one's proper state of mental sound. But i just can't let go of those times in KC, not just those with the gong famiy, I mean that and everything else- the animal farm, the fun and happy times with the class.

I sat in class today and i started laughing over something that Ms Nathan believed, even when i am so crakced up about that situation i still remember the past : Times when we would sit at a table for an hour talking crap and eating ice cream cracking ourselves up. Makes me think of things, how something so happy and light is so fragile yet so heavy and important. These memories mean everything to me, they make me think of something i could have again one day, or maybe something i can still have in my mind. Mind, that is the place. That is the place where everything is real yet not. That is the place of surrealism, the place of implicit happiness yet neverending sadness. That is the place where reality stops and you think about what is really going on. Maybe you may not understand what i mean, but i fully know what i feel, i love my friends alot. I love those times i talk on the phone with Candice for hours without end and those times i sat at a table with the gang, i love those lunch/recesses where would sit together last time; be it with the gong family or with the animal farm. It all does not matter anymore, i can see it all slowly dissapearing and fading into thin air. We miss what we are losing and we moan for what is lost. But have we ever moan when we are happy or while we have them? Have we miss what was right infront of us? I eat chocolate ice cream and my mind floats to that time when me and my friends had an ice cream bash at ahgongs table. I see a burnt marshmallow or when I roast my marshmallows i remember the smell and the air of happiness floating through as we down on dish after another roasting away the evil and consuming the sweetness and softness of what-lies-beneath. I see a person talking on the phone and i remember candice, i see soccer or NBA and i remember her. I see a bunch of animals and i see the animal farm back together happy. I see everything and i remember the past. Why? Why is everthing beneath the surface so deep? I see art and i remember Fires Within Fires. I see a theatre performance and i remember 4.1 during Lanterns and i remember installation moments. I never read the book 'The Crucible', and that is surprising cos that was what probably created the current me. A person who actually remembers the past and has something to remember about.

At the end of FWF, we(5 of us) cried out hearts out as we saw our cow get torn apart. Our hearts ache when they wipped the cow. And my heart hurts when i remember our tears or those times. We built the cow up with our hands, with our laughter and joy, with our hearts, and we had to part with it. It felt like we were parting with a creation, like parting with your own child perhaps, i don't know, but i know it had hurt and still hurts when i think of it. I told them it was stupid to cry yet a single sight of a fallen art can reduce me to something i am not, a person who actually bothered. I told them : "don't cry over the cow, just sit in the corner then you do not have to see it. Don't cry la, so stupid" ot smth like that. But deep inside i wanted to cry, that was why i sat in teh corner, i wanted to hide myself so i would not have to see the cow getting ripped. I have a piece of its skin in my box, and i sniffed it just now trying to see whether the smell of all the gule we had use was still apparent. But gone, long gone, diffused into the air, faded away. Just like that reality, but i still held the skin in my hand, just like i still have those memories...

There is so much that i wish to say, but the minute i type it out, my heart turns colder, like this key board ; plastic. And there are so much words flowing through my mind that just refuses to be put down here....so i shall end now..... good night and good luck with your life ahead.

-Sara-

Okay, first day of school since the 1 mth break. Tml there will be PE. That means, sores and aches wil be back! "Yay! we are screwed!" Anyways, drama got cancelled, damn, no fun. Really miss it, its been too long since the last session, life is getting bored. My dad fetched me and then we chatted about cars and he brought me to eat lunch. Ordered chicken rice and i drank coconut too... =)

My dad say that he will decide by next week whether to get the SLK 3.5 litres or keep the merseratti cambiocorsa. OOO, love the way you say the name... Cambiocorsa. say it with me!! Cam-Bio-Cor-Sa. nice name for a car~ anyways, me and my dad talked about suspension of the cars. 0-100km speed. The time the merce will arrive if you bought it. The pricing (the SLK is cheap. Like S$ 250k only. I mean it is cheap for a sports car.) The SLK 0-100km pick up speed is ard 5.5 secs. Which is slower than the car my dad has.(dad's one is 0-100km in 4.9 secs) Alot of diff. But have to hurry up order the car if you want(SLK) cos 3 of 5 are already booked. If these 2 get taken too, you got to wait for the next shipment next year. Which means you might as well get the Mercedes SLK AMG, it is 4.8 secs, abt half a 0.7 secs faster than the normal SLK. but the price jumps by 100k. So ya, pay 100K extra for half a second faster. The SLK car is open top, but hard top. And it looks so futuristic. The bad thing is that it is only a 2 seater. bleah.

To continue bout drama, there was a message saying that there may be a meeting towards the end of the week. Hmmm.... die.

I also have to get PW stuff done and many other stuff. Holidays are over, and school life comes to take its place. Chances are, i will die under the stress.

There may be CIP this week , candice one is over. Too bad, thought that maybe we could have gone together or smth. This CIP is of course AFTER CHINESE LISTENING COMPRE *falls* sigh. O well... gotta do what you gotta do.

A funny song for you to read:

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out! Here comes the Spiderman.

Is he strong? Listen bud,
He’s got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread
Take a look overhead
Hey, there There goes the Spiderman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.

Spiderman, Spiderman
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman
Wealth and fame
He’s ignored Action is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there’s a hang up You’ll find the Spider man

---

Hope you enjoyed it! haha.. ciao~

-Sara-

Okay, the strangest thing happened. I was reading teh message boards when *BOOM* i came across this, a message from one of the LnC fan.... this was how her post went.


Okay, I know I said I would be home from Philly on Thursday, so you're probably wondering what's taken me so long to post. You guys are *not* gonna believe this:

We went to visit New York, see, and while we were in Central Park I went to throw something away. As soon as I seperated from the group, this wierd mist sprang up and I heard some kind of cackling. Next thing I know, this fountain appears out of nowhere with the inscription "Centennial Park" on it. I looked for my family, but I couldn't find them anywhere!

I tried asking a cop for help, but as soon as I mentioned New York, he looked at me funny and said I was in Metropolis! When I realized he wasn't joking, I started to think he was crazy. Just then, I looked up and saw... not a bird, not a plane, but Superman himself!

After running around in circles and yelling incoherent jibberish, I decided to ask for help from people who are sure to know about this kind of stuff: YOU GUYS!

So here's the deal: I'm typing this from a computer at a Metropolis police station. I managed to pass the ink-blot test, so they're being kind enough to let me borrow their computer. All I have on me is my clothes, my hat, my sunglasses, and about fifty bucks (but I can probably get this kind officer to lend me more after that little misunderstanding with the straight-jacket and padded cell).

What should I do? Why am I here? Who can I ask for help?

Come on guys, I could really use your input here!


OMG!!!! I wonder if it is real!? I mean, that would seriously be so great! to be stuck in a place where you have a hero to save you if there was an emergency and a place that has a daily planet. If this was real, that means alternate univereses exist. This would seriously be a scientific breakthrough! This would prove all... that there are different planes of existence. But if she was stuck in metropolis, would she be able to post a message on the net there and yet we can see it? it would be quite weird for a message to be able to be sent through different planes of exitence as well. Quite impossible. But if this was real, anything is possible. Then where was Superman during the 9/11 event?

Maybe he has not found a way to break the barrier between planes to get here like she did. Maybe. Just maybe. I guess this would give people hope. Something to look forward to, to have a hero to believe in. A person who everyone can find their upright moral values in.

-Sara-

I bought an organiser today. Went to so many places to find a perfect one. Of course naturally i did not find a perfect one. Damn. O well, spent 20 bucks on it, damn heart pain. More on yesterday, went out with Candice, so fun!!! spider-man 2 rocks man! It is like one if the best shows ever. Haha, and not forgeting the fun time at....... COFFEE CLUB over at taka. Very funny. There was a form for us to fill out about how we felt about the food and service. Okay here was now it went :

Mr (can't remember the name)
Gender : Female (note the Mr)
Occupation: Stripper
Address: Under the 2nd Lamp Post at Geylang (meet you there at 7)
Handphone : 99909110
Home phone: 67654321

etc etc

Then there was this part:

How was the standard of the drinks : Excellent Average Poor

What drinks did you order: Water

There were more funny parts but ya. Me and candice were laughing our guts out. So funny!!! hahahaa. There was this time where we asked the waiter for a pen (to fill out that questionaire) Then the woman said to wait awhile, she will ask someone to assist us. Then this malay waiter came and was like " How can i help you? " And i said "Can i have a pen please" And he was like blur for awhile. Then candice started to laugh and the guy was asking what's so funny or smth? Like in a very friendly manner. Haha, to Candice :" What was so funny anyways? "

today i found out so many thingS! Bout relationships. Boy am i lucky that the only guy trouble i have is that i aint got no guy. WoOHOo~

Anyways, gtg, ciao!

You are a black cat, stubborn yet friendly, you
stick to your values and preferences, and no
one can convince you otherwise! You are the
legendary cat of mystery.


What color of cat are you?
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